The game of running back and forth to your sin seems so easy to correct. We’re continuously told to run the other way, run to God, run AWAY. That’s not as easy as it seems. In no way am i justifying running back to it, this is just a little insight that helped me to understand the self infliction I provide when take part in “giving in”.
My toughest sin. the king of em all. the hard-body sin. You know, that one that always creeps back in. The one that takes the place of me finding my identity in Christ. I call him Anger. Now this isn’t your everyday road rage, fussin with my brother, need to take a nap kinda anger. This anger escalates into rage and rage transforms itself into this silence and cold-heartedness that I have yet to understand. If at any moment I feel it coming, I find myself acknowledging it more than fighting it off… that’s a mistake. The dictionary defines anger as a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. I am capable of looking past all three of these emotions individually but it seems like when they collide I lose myself.
Now sin. Sin can be defined as anything that goes against God. Anything in opposition of who He is. Anything that pulls us away from His presence. John Piper ( ahh Piper ) answered best for me, he said,
“Sin is esteeming and valuing and honoring and enjoying man and his creations above God” Sin puts God on the “backburner” We have a keen understanding that there is nothing good about sin. SO why would I run to it. This is where the purpose of this blog comes in.
I compare my sin to a brick wall. It’s big, it’s tough, generally stable and can be used as a form of protection from trouble. I’ve noticed these are all things I didn’t have growing up. There was no guarantee it’d all be okay nor was there anything that seemed big or strong enough to give me comfort about days to come. Now this was all before I was saved.. boy do I know better. So this wall. It’s right in front of me.. my anger. At hands reach and I can run to it and feel the pain of it’s use. So I do just that. If I’m running into a brick wall I’m guaranteed to get hurt. As many times as i just run to it, there will be no different of an outcome,things will never get better. Actually they’ll only get worse, my pains will turn to bruises, the bruises will be punctured into wounds, and the wounds will only feel the pressure of the very same brick wall. I’ll grow weak, discouraged, and weary. My only option, if I stand any chance is to simply turn around. Now, there’s something special about the human body, the fact that it has the ability to heal itself. Now, say for a split second I turned away from the brick wall ( which can now be considered my sin : anger) my body will begin to heal. It knows what it is to not feel those feelings and it wants to go to that state of being. Luckily it gets better. I can run to God. Not only will He put me in a better state, He’ll heal my scars and replenish my soul. There’s comfort in knowing that I cannot completely fix myself, and neither can anyone else. To be honest, I wouldn’t know where to start.
All of this to say, He is there. He’s always been there and always will be. There’s no sense in looking for someone else to give you peace, or complete joy, or fix your faults because no one can unconditionally do so. I think about the perfection of our God and it makes me weak. I have decided to stop unnecessarily hitting that wall. To catch the sin and sprint to God, not just away from the sin though, but to His loving arms. In Hosea the people asked Him to GRACIOUSLY accept them, I’ll never forget that. They asked for grace and He willingly gives it to us undeserving, self-seeking, imperfect children of His, if nothing, that’s something to thank Him for everyday.
Okay you guys, I’m done. Apparently it’s 3:12 am
but these are some quick moments in our day when we aimlessly sin, it’s silly how often these occur in a day’s time.
“…The glory of God is not honored.
The holiness of God is not reverenced.
The greatness of God is not admired.
The power of God is not praised.
The truth of God is not sought.
The wisdom of God is not esteemed.
The beauty of God is not treasured.
The goodness of God is not savored.
The faithfulness of God is not trusted.
The promises of God are not relied upon.
The commandments of God are not obeyed.
The justice of God is not respected.
The wrath of God is not feared.
The grace of God is not cherished.
The presence of God is not prized.
The person of God is not loved…”
– John Piper