Because He Said So.

6 minutes and 51 seconds. That’s how long it will take you to read this, I ask that you take that time to hear what God commanded me to share.

I’ve started selling things, I’ve quit my job, and it is confirmed that my next destination is Nigeria. These past few months have felt like an absolute blur; an exciting and exhilarating blur, a blur nonetheless. I’m thankful for those of you who have patiently (or impatiently) waited for me to sit down at this computer and SHARE. I didn’t want this blog to be completely focused on my African progress, because its purpose is personal growth through Christ, so I’ll share that and more. Over the years, I’ve seen the sense community on my website grow deeper, and when I move, I’d love for you to move with me. Some of you may already know, via Facebook, but the position I’ve been offered is the Primary School Principal and Assistant Dean of the teacher college. My desire is to go long term, so I need long term partners. I’ve found that when I say “partner” the first thing that comes to mind is money. Yes, money is a part of it, but more than anything, I crave relationships with the people on my TEAM. So far, I have 3 former students committed to $5-$10 a month, and it makes such a big difference on paper and in my heart. I want to be able to share in joyous and not so joyous moments when I’m gone. I’d love a family to return to on furloughs. When God orchestrated this, it was never an image of me collecting cash and dippin’ the country. It was Him using me and my community to push the Gospel forward in service and love. The past 8 years of my life have been devoted to Southwest Louisiana and the lives of the children and families I was entrusted with. Now, God has created an avenue for me to expand beyond Lake Charles, and I’d love your support. If you’d like to partner, please contact me shakiyla.solomon@outlook.com Here are the websites if you feel led to join!

https://donations.rafikifoundation.org/Step1.aspx?varid=241&amt=25 This is the online registration. It asks for “Introductory Information” simply so I can know who you are and send thank you letters out.

https://www.paypal.me/shakiylas This is the Pay Pal account. Some people have asked how I’m doing right now financially, having begun the transition. Some days, I eat Ramen Noodles and thank God. Other days, people unknowingly send me groceries. If you’re interested in helping me as I transition OUT of the states, here’s a good place to start.

This is an image of where I am in monthly donations, verses where I need to be in order to go.

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Now, for the lessons. That’s my cute way of saying, God went upside my head because I didn’t listen. Y’all. WHY DON’T WE LISTEN? I was offered a position at a local Middle School, and when I tell you I was R E A D Y to return to a classroom, I was READY. I prayed about it and felt uneasy. I talked to a few friends and they felt uneasy. The uneasiness wasn’t because I was anxious about teaching, it was because I knew the devotion necessary for a long-term sub position. I know the way God calls me to love students, all students, and I knew that with this quest to Africa, I wouldn’t have the time or resources to be effective. Well, I decided I wouldn’t. I told Mrs. B “God said don’t become a mediocre teacher just because you don’t trust my financial and emotional provision.” In a podcast I was recently on, Tim Talks, Justin reminded me of the man going BACK to bury his dead father after Jesus told Him to move on and follow Him (Matthew 8:22) Not that the students are “the dead” but I’d finished my work in CPSB, and I was supposed to be focusing my heart and devotion on Africa. I was sure that “NO” was the answer. I walked into the Principal’s office. I told her why I couldn’t take the job. I started the next day. Stupid, right? I know. It was like, my flesh wanted to serve as many children as possible while I’m still in Lake Charles, but my Spirit had confirmed that my work here is done. I went home after day one in tears. I walked Aries, and fell asleep on the floor. I woke up at 3am and realized that I’d set up a meeting with a possible partner at 5pm that evening and slept/cried straight through it. You’d think I’d learned my lesson huh? Nah. I went back the next day and when I tell you God got me TOGETHER. Here’s what I learned:

Yes. We are vessels of His truth and love. Yes. He uses us. NO. He does not need us. I’ve had so many people tell me how much CPSB “needs” me, and it makes me pretty uncomfortable. It should, though. If in your service you’re busy throwing “I”, “Me”, and “My” around, I beg you to be cautious.

Dear servants of the Lord “HE DOES NOT NEED YOU!” He chooses to use you, so when He tells you to move, MOVE. I’ve had so many conversations with people making me feel guilty for my obedience to GOD. As crazy as it seems, most of them are believers, so it just reminded me that we are all broken vessels, being refurbished everyday.

Do not, I repeat, do not let the guilt of man drive you to disobedience to your Father.

We are often called to do things that this world can’t quite understand. God may tell you something clear as day, but because your family and friends can’t quite wrap their minds around it, you put it off. You postpone it. You ignore it all together. Stop that. Stop moving with the ways of this broken world and bask in the fact that the God of the universe is giving you direction. He is worthy to be trusted and entrusted with your life. I’ve been stuck on

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; holdfast to what is good. Romans 12:9

It may seem like a stretch, but I’ve decided that anything outside of God’s goodness is evil, and refuse to let it dictate my hope in His will for my life. Every day when I wake up, I want to be purpose driven. My service here is changing, but it will never cease. I’ve just decided that I will be hosting one last “good-bye” fundraiser and as silly as it may seem, if you are reading this, I want you to join me. Some of you live in other states, some other countries, so I’m more than willing to video cast you in. This fundraiser will be community-focused and produced. I will auction off items donated from LOCALLY owned businesses and have LOCAL talent remind us of the beauty that comes out of Louisiana. If you or anyone you know is interested, please email me. I want this to be authentic more than I want it to be “big.” I will give more information on my next post, but in the meantime, and in your life, be consistent. Love so intensely that people don’t know what to do with you. Serve when it hurts. Be influential.

Thank you for reading.

I love you.

I’m ready.

This weekend was one that I’m sure I will remember for the rest of my life. I’ve gone through it not being able to walk, crying in front of friends who I’ve been my “strongest” for, and having to physically be taken care of by my family.

Without saying too much, the largest tumor decided to do its own thing, and the result was a Foley catheter. I seldom get embarrassed, or feel a sense of “anxiety” in public places. This weekend was different, though. I didn’t want to walk into Wal-Mart. I didn’t want to walk my dog. I didn’t want to walk to my car. I didn’t want to WALK.  Coincidentally, the day before this, I was praying for the ability to do just that — walk. I went Thursday and Friday without being able to stand up on my own, let alone move about, and here I was, too ashamed to use that gift. After a long night of profane prayers and silent weeping, I was relieved at the fact that I was well on my way to perfection. I know it sounds silly, but that’s all I see in my head.

Two years ago, my heart was broken down and battered. Not only by the man I loved, but by many of my family members’ selfishness, unexpected murders, unexpected death, and the absence of old friends through it all. It was soon after rebuilt.

Last year, my mind was broken down as I realized that my job, my health, and my insecurities had completely stripped me of any mental peace. I was consumed with dark thoughts and a scary lack of hope. I was depressed and lonely, and my mind was the root of it all. It was soon after rebuilt.

This year, my body is being broken down. I’m having to remove, repair, and rethink what I thought its purpose was. I’m being prepared, and as the days go by, I’m able to find the joy in that.

I don’t know what God is preparing me for, but in Hebrews 2:10, it reads

“For it was fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation PERFECT through suffering.”

That verse has penetrated my entire being in ways that never made sense until now. It reminded me that suffering isn’t always what I see it as. It’s not the absence of God, as much as it is a small dose of His powerful presence. I’m being molded into the woman I am meant to be. That woman serves others relentlessly, sees beauty in herself, and will be a mother of some child that has been abandoned and neglected. There is more to come, but I think that’s a good place to start.

Today I find out when the hysterectomy will be. I schedule the surgery, and although I’ve come in contact with MANY people who disagree with my decision, my health has become an enemy to my service to God, and whether or not you understand that, is outside of my power. Not being able to have children will never define me. Being a mother is more than natural birth. I’m ready. I’m ready and willing to be whoever it is that God has for me. I will walk in obedience and I’d love it if you walked alongside me. Remember to add yourself to my email list so I can encourage you PERSONALLY in your life, as you have done for me by taking the time to read my posts. Please feel free to ask ANY questions, remember, my life is open so we can grow together. I’m confident there are people praying on my brokenness, but I have faith that I’m protected.

Thank you.

I love you.

The Adoption: Welcome

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Firstly, I really just want to thank everyone for the ABUNDANCE of support and prayer thus far. It’s only been a few days and I am still overwhelmed with thankfulness. My family and friends have for the most part been extraordinarily supportive and with the hand full of responses that somewhat hurt, God has provided peace as the days go by.

I’ve decided to just keep you all informed on my blog. It seems a bit easier. Also, they’re really informal and can often be wordy. This is primarily because I ramble, so if you’re just like “No Shakiyla, Stop” we’ve probably never held a conversation. This is Just a warning.

Today was a big day. I had my last observation in Student Teaching prior graduation, and it was a breeze. I very seldom get nervous, but I guess that with all of the other things on my mind, I began to crumble under pressure. Even still, my Supervisor was moved at the way my students respond and interact with me after only a few months and that was super encouraging.

Today was also officially the beginning of the adoption process. We had orientation and I met the sweetest girl who is also attempting to adopt for the first time. So do you want to hear about how I almost had a heart attack? Of course you do. I looked at the list of dates for training and the first one of three was on May 16th. Yep, May 16th. Which happens to be my college graduation date. The only training dates after those were in November. Yep, November. So I legitimately took a deep breath and asked the instructor if there were any other options. She said, “Well Ms. Solomon, those classes are the CPR courses and although you won’t be certified, it’s mandatory that you be there. You would just have to re-take that course in mid-July to late August” My response, “What if I’m CPR certified until 2017?” “OH GIRL, YOU’RE FINE THEN!” I’m pretty sure I almost had an accident when she said that. I’ve never felt such a rush of relief. We talked about pretty general things. It consisted of paperwork, our personal objective, and the asking of questions that we’d been holding in the entire time. The most amazing thing about it all though, was the fact that there were so many interracial couples. I forget how sweet racial harmony is because it’s clouded by racism and the hate that it entails. I couldn’t stop smiling at them. They could very well think I’m a complete psycho, but I guess we’ll get past that. May 23rd is my first training session and I ask that you guys continue to pray. Last week I started writing letters to my son/daughter and I didn’t fail to mention, by name, the amazing people that prayed for him/her long before we ever locked eyes.

I’m finally doing this, you guys. Two years is a really long time of having to plead and beg and just wait for God to give me clarity. In that waiting though, I’ve grown in more ways than a few. I don’t think I could explain in words how much peace I have in my being. I’m not sure if that made sense. I just finally feel like I’m on the path God has always had for me, not my own, not rebellion, not walking in fear, just sweet obedience and I love Him for granting me it.